I haven’t been interpreting in the post-secondary setting all semester. For people that know StrengthsQuest, two of my top five are learner and input. As you can see, I was feeling desperate for any kind of stimulating information. I pulled up TED because I know I can always count on them to either inspire me or educate me on a specific topic. This TED talk blew me away. At first, it was very informational. Amy Cuddy explained her findings about body language and how it relates to power dynamics. As her talk continued, the research findings became really fascinating and her personal story emerged as she was explaining why her research resonated with her so strongly.
The themes of vulnerability and imperfection have really become important topics for me this year, and once again I see the beauty of vulnerability in her talk. (Thank you, Brené Brown.) She explains her path into academia and her nagging feeling that she didn’t deserve to be there at all. You will need to watch the talk in order to understand why she had this feeling of inadequacy.
As she was speaking, I had this realization that at some level all people have these feelings of inadequacy or fraudulence; however, we all have them for different reasons. Despite the reasons for our feelings of inadequacy, we have a choice. I am not going to be naive and say if you just follow everything Amy says your feelings of unworthiness, inadequacy, and fraudulence are going to immediately go away, but what I am saying is the most important part of her research is our choice to push aside those feelings even when we believe them and they lurk in the back of our minds. We don’t have to add fuel to the fire by actively participating in our own self-destruction.
Obviously depression and any other mental health issues are not situations where you can will those conditions away; however, this is a situation of self-doubt–that habit to instantly second guess yourself or your abilities. I want my mindset to be how can I make this happen in my life instead of instantly giving all of the reasons why something won’t happen. Trust me, I am really good at coming up with a list of why I can’t do something, and usually all of the reasons involve me and my feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness. If I am honest with myself, giving into those feelings is easier, and I am comfortable there. Who is with me in getting out of this self-doubt paralysis?