I started playing golf this summer. I joined for one respectable reason: a whole new world of clothes and accessories. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Stop judging. I was once like you. Jim said he was going to buy a new pair of golf shoes earlier this summer, and in the interest of full disclosure I will say-at the time-I was mocking him or judging him. Ok both. Then, I saw him wearing them on the golf course, and everything changed. They were beautiful and he was beautiful, and a new passion was born.
The next weekend was my birthday, so you can guess what I wanted. Jim bought me my very first pair of Foot Joys. That’s right, the beautiful shoes? The brand name is Foot Joy. How perfect is that! Once I saw how cute the shoes could be, my eyes were opened to the beautiful plaid shorts, and the hats, and the gloves…sigh…life is wonderful. [Side note: so far, gotta say I’m not much a golf skirt girl, but never say never. Dang you, Justin Beiber.]
As for the actual game, life has been a little less wonderful. Fun, yes. Awe inspiring, no. The top 8 things I wish I would have known before starting:
- Don’t chat with your golfing buddies while your other golfing buddy is swinging. Golfers get cranky.
- Don’t drive your cart on the fairway too close to the greens. Grounds people get cranky.
- Don’t believe that there will be a hidden talent miraculously unleashed in you the second you step out on the course.
- The golfers in your life don’t care that you have no apparent talent. They are just happy that you are out there trying. They will try and remind you of this often when you are having a meltdown.
- If your meltdown persists, they will say you are not allowed to hit another ball until you have a better attitude.
- Remember the first hole stinks if there is anyone watching you, and I mean anyone: men, women, children. Your pride does not discriminate. Actually, most holes stink when anyone is watching. Get over this fear as quickly as possible. Just be thankful when you don’t miss the ball entirely.
- Never golf with your father in law and your brother in law for the first time on a gigantic 18 hole course after only golfing for a month and only using 3 clubs. You will embarrass yourself and end up calling your sister in law to pick you up at the club house after only playing the first nine.
- Be thankful you have so many opportunities to learn humility.